LeTourneau Belltower Shockingly Stolen Overnight!
In a most unfortunate turn of events, the ubiquitous LeTourneau bell-tower has been stolen! Early this morning, as the sun rose over Saga and the students from Tyler groggily walked down to the church bus stop, the morning light revealed a heart-wrenching hole in the center of campus:
The bell-tower, after nearly two decades of faithfully bringing us the time when we were never in need of it, has gone missing.
When Dr. Lunsford received a call from a concerned flight student at around 6:03, he admitted, “I didn’t believe her.” But after the calls kept pouring in and as emails began flying back and forth, Lunsford reported that he “drove to the school as fast as was legally possible.”
Upon further examination of the site, it was confirmed that the bell-tower is in fact missing. In its place, a large ring of meticulously groomed Bonsai trees has been planted. Inside the ring, it was discovered that there are several more patches of Bonsai, arranged to form strange symbols. “Call me crazy, but this looks like Korean,” Rebecca Haesecke, an International Student Advisor told us.
Campus Police Chief, Terry Turner, along with several noted cultural experts, have established that the symbol is indeed Korean. “I strongly believe in the principle of being innocent until proven guilty, but the symbols are Korean for 'those who flood.' It seems very likely that the Flooders are behind these shenanigans. Either that or it's those Korean students. Which would not surprise me,” Turner confided.
The symbol isn’t the only incriminating evidence that was found. After a hasty aerial search, the bell-tower was discovered in the most unlikely of places: the top of Tyler Hall West. Fluttering in the breeze, an orange flag was observed perched on the metal spire of the tower. The YellowJacket had the opportunity to interview an anonymous Flooder about the incident. When asked if he knew anything, his only response was “If I told you, I’d have to shower you.”
Members of administration, while remaining skeptical of the Flooders’ denial of responsibility, have consulted and agreed to temporarily leave the bell-tower in its current location. “I feel like I've 'owed them' in a way since the loft business. It actually looks pretty nice up there,” President Lunsford quipped.
While the fate of the tower may still be unsure, the real question is:
How in the world did they do it?
Just kidding! Happy April Fool's Day from the YellowJacket staff!
Written by Nathan Brazil.