YellowJacket international informants have recently decoded a Slavic cipher disclosing codes intended to cripple websites popularly used by students. Research giants such as Wolfram Alpha, Sparknotes, and Google traditionally have staunch security, but reports indicate that these systems have been penetrated by a sophisticated hacking group from Ukraine. Their objective, as communicated by an Anonymous spokesperson, is to undermine the success of American college students during their finals at the end of the this semester. “Americans are stupid, unoriginal people utterly reliant on the internet for their answers,” the spokesperson said. “When final scores are submitted for this school year, the world will see the true intellectual weakness of their college children.” Dubious study resources nonetheless frequented by students – such as Wikipedia and Ask.com – are also in the crosshairs. Some professors have voiced hopes that students now will be more likely to verify the legitimacy of their sources and will ultimately deepen their critical thinking and creative writing skills.
LeTourneau University is doing its part to intercept the hacking plot and save face for other colleges in the nation. Leading the way is Dr. Tevis and a team of Computer Science (Network Security concentration) majors. In the mean time, the Margaret Estes Library has experienced record highs in daily visitors.
Just kidding! Happy April Fool’s Day from the YellowJacket staff!
Written by Carly Robinson.